Jim Benton: 40 Memories of a Boy Named Steve

Prelude
In helping to assemble and edit this collection of lists, I have discovered that 40 is a strangely variable number, sometimes too large, sometimes too small, sometimes too indefinite to actually be counted. I have discovered that we all remember differently and reveal our diversity in our unique choices. And in our differing memory of the same events! So, in collecting my own 40 memories below, I have tried to let them come as they will without trying to be intentionally selective or working to create a consistent image. There are one or two important moments deemed inappropriate for this space, and I know there will be thunderbolts of how-could-I-have-left-out ....? coming later. Still, it’s a list of 40, assembled freely and numbered likewise. It has been fun to think of, fun to make notes on, and fun now to release. Happy Birthday, Steve!

A. Fort Worth (1967 – 1969) 0-2
1. Riding the spring horse
I have not only seen the pictures; I have witnessed Cowboy Steve in diapers galloping off into the sunset with an improvised hair curler container for his Stetson and genuine saddle sores on his backsides. Yee ha! Git along, li’l dogies!
2. The backseat playpen
Lost in the overprotective safety concerns of a modern age is the freedom and interaction of little ones in the car. We filled up the floor wells to the level of the backseat, spread a couple of soft quilts across the back, and the little guy played with his toys, napped, and took notice of the world around him as we drove on 21 cent gas all over North Texas, stopping here and there for roadside picnics.
3. The taffy burn
I was not present at the original event, but I saw the black and blistered little hand that followed. Steve reached up onto the pecan wood dining table where a sticky plate of melted hot taffy had just been placed to cool. His whole hand came down in the molten goo. The apartment complex where he and Carolyn lived came to the rescue, but there was little they could do. A neighborly nurse took him into the apartment swimming pool and finally distracted him. The blisters remained for weeks.

B. Waco (1969-1970) 2-3
4. Putting away his toys
Steve learned to put away his toys at home. When Mother would tell him to put away his toys from the living room or bedroom, he would gather them up, carry them to the threshold of his own room, and throw them in. With some gusto and glee I might add.
5. Public nudity
During the summer of 1970, I worked as youth director of First United Methodist Church in Waco. Steve and Carolyn came to visit one weekday morning, and he took to roaming the halls on his own. A minute or so later, the church secretary came to the door and asked us to come see something. Steve, having carefully folded up his clothes and his shoes, was gleefully enjoying the water sprinklers on the huge expanse of church lawn. Skinnysplashing. (That same summer, we found the naked little fellow streaking around the communion table shortly after the end of worship.)
6. Drawings
When Steve wasn’t stripping off his clothes, he spent some time in the summer of 70 with crayons and blank paper in my office. Just turning 3, he began to move from scribbles to representational art. The rudimentary beginnings of forms were amazing to see.

C. Austin (1970-1971) 3-4
7. Memorizing mammals
I think one can still buy boxed sets (36 - 50?) of cards (3” x 6”?) with pictures of mammals on one side and more information than anyone would care to know about each pictured mammal on the other. Somehow, in the process of seeking to increase Steve’s vocabulary and ability to memorize useless information, his parents chose to use these useless cards as identification flash cards until three-year-old Steve could tell the difference between a kangaroo rat and a pica.
8. The front seat plunge
Given the family predilection for treating the car as an extended home (See #2.) it is no surprise that Steve suffered a mishap or two. This the worst: With Steve standing up in the middle of the backseat floor with elbows on the back of the two divided front seats, we proceeded down a steep hill on the way home from the University United Methodist Church one Austin Sunday. Stoplight. Hard braking. Steve dives into the front seat and meets the car radio selection buttons with his teeth and gums.
9. Battle scenes
Steve had his own bedroom in our tiny apartment, and it was there that he staged elaborate battle scenes, setting up plastic toy soldiers one by one by one, aiming their weapons precisely, and the conducting shot-by-shot battles. Across the years, he received boxed sets of plastic soldiers and other props for the Alamo, the Civil War, the American Revolution, and more.
10. Six Flags on the wall
Steve’s bed was a lower bunk in the corner of that small room that created a cozy hobbit hole for him. On the wall of his hideaway was a pictorial map of Six Flags Over Texas where he visited at least once each summer from age 2 or 3 to maybe 20? He would lie in his bed and plan imaginary visits, plotting the same traditional route beginning with El Sombrero.
11. Powder snow
Steve’s friendship with Jennifer was the most significant development of the year in Austin, and my favorite Steve and Jennifer story is the time they were playing alone in Jennifer’s parents’ room and were discovered after having sprinkled a light white covering of winter’s first snow over the whole room. With baby powder.

La Marque (1971-1973) 4-6
12. Kindergarten
Public kindergarten was not available in Texas in 1972, so Steve attended St. Michael’s Episcopal School just a block or two from our home in La Marque. I remember walking home after delivering him to a first day or school thinking tearfully that the days of our being the primary shaping force of his life were over.
13. Drawing Don Q and Sancho, Alamo
I vividly remember Steve’s drawing Don Quixote and Sancho and scenes from the Alamo with colorful markers during these days. In addition to reading aloud The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings at bedtime – when I once shook Steve awake saying, “Don’t go to sleep now. We have to see what happens! - we listened to the soundtrack recording of The Alamo, and he memorized the Marty Robbins’ "Ballad of the Alamo" and . The album also contained the song "Tennessee Babe" about Captain Dickinson’s daughter – Lisa.
14. Steve Who?
In Galveston, in 1972, we appeared with an attorney in a judge’s chambers to legally change Steve’s name to Steven Frank Benton. The judge was a child-friendly sort, and he asked Steve if he liked that name. “Yes.” And if there was any other name he would like better. “Yes.” Insert parental shock! “What name would you like better?” the judge queried. “Steve Davy Crockett.”
15. Snakes in the house
a. Twice our little house in LaMarque flooded, and, following one such incident, Carolyn called me at work in Galveston (20 plus minutes away) to report a snake on the floor of the living room. She was quite distressed, so I asked to talk to Steve. I calmly told him to get a broom, put it on top of the snake, and push it out the front door. He did.
b. In the same era when Steve put a snake out of the house, he also brought one in. I was showering and overheard his mother (ill and in the bed) saying to him, “Go show that to your father.” When he pulled back the shower curtain and inserted a small brown snake, saying, “Look, Dad! Look! Can we keep him?” I was pleased with myself for not screaming and scarring the boy for life. With apparent calm, I said, “I think it would be best to let him go outside. If we keep him, he would probably die soon.” Whew!
16. Always look on the bright side
Another flood memory comes from just before the first flood. As a family of three, we sat on the couch in our living room watching the rain fall and the water rise in our front yard. We could see that it was not yet at the level of the front door when the phone rang. I stepped off the couch to answer the phone and discovered that the carpet was already floating on an inch or so of floodwater. Sitting on the couch/boat moments later, Steve said, “Well, at least we can go swimming in our own yard now.” And added, “Well, at least we won’t have to wash our carpet.” Ever mindful of the impact of my reactions on the youngster’s psyche, I yelled, “Shut up, Steve! There is nothing good about this!”
17. The birth of front yard football
When that front yard was drier, Steve and I began playing football there. He wasn’t much for throwing and catching, but we developed a game in which he would pick up the ball and try to run past me for four downs and vice versa. Just before I would “tackle” him, Steve would throw the ball ahead and out of bounds. No matter how often I told him not to do so! Thirty plus years later, he explained that he thought that if he didn’t have the ball the enormous, brutish giant would not throw him to the ground. Oh.

Plano (1973-1975) 6-8 Grades 1-2
18. YMCA days
In Plano, Steve was involved with a variety of YMCA activities. He was Blue Hawk to my Red Hawk in Y-Indian Guides, and we attended tribe meetings and campouts. We also participated twice in Derby Day, racing foot-long wooden cars down ramps. I got lots of help on the second one. As a soccer player, first grade Steve was something of a late bloomer, neither fast nor aggressive, but he did get to watch a game on the field at Texas Stadium once!
19. Singing and Stabbing
First grade in Plano is marked by two noteworthy events – Steve’s performing "The Ballad of the Alamo" (see 13., 14.) in costume for the school and Steve’s walking home from school one day and being shoved down by an older boy and arriving at home, not with an abrasion but a cut on his side. Mystery never solved.

Edmond (1975) 8 Grade 3
20. Red Carpet Motel
In a month or less, Steve and I spent two years living in a room in the Red Carpet Motel in Edmond. We had not found a house there before it was time for school to start at Will Rogers Elementary School, so Steve and Dad went on ahead of the rest. I think the apartment we all moved into later also had red carpet. And suited us equally well. We moved to Fort Worth before Christmas.

Fort Worth (1975-1978) 8-11 Grades 3-5
21. Aunt Eva’s fall
I can’t help it. When I think of these years in Fort Worth, I see my great aunt, Aunt Eva, walking up the front steps to our house behind Steve and me and unexpectedly tottering backwards. She reaches for Steve and calls his name, but there was nothing he or I could do to stop her fall. Nothing broke.
22. The Littlest Wiseman
While we were in Fort Worth, Steve was cast in the title role of the extravagant community Christmas pageant “The Littlest Wiseman.” Lisa played an angel and Uncle John Dan played the little wiseman’s older brother. The Walsh family, hugely wealthy Fort Worth philanthropists, had brought the pageant to Fort Worth in 1962 when their ninth grade daughter played Mary and her classmate and eventual father of Steve played a wiseman accompanied by his 3-4 year old page later to become known as Uncle John Dan.
23. Boy Who Caught the Fish, My Uncle Paul
These were perhaps the biggest years in the life of Steve the Performer, starring in “The Littlest Wiseman” and these two children’s musicals at Central Christian Church. His piano lessons also began here and his skills developed markedly – winning a medal after going missing at Mayfest and arriving late, practicing extensively one particularly long school snow day.
24. Magnetized
Among the FWISD desegregation plans was the creation of magnet schools to attract students from poorer attendance zones to the wealthier ones. Thus, the rich kids stay in their neighborhood schools, and the poor kids are voluntarily bussed there because of their special academic programs. Steve was so bussed from one campus to another, experiencing the pain of classism in the classroom and on the playground. (Steve also was the attorney for the defense in a mock trial staged at the Fort Worth City Hall.)
25. Super Bowls and Cowboys
These were the years of watching Super Bowls together at church and at home and of immersion in Uncle Troy’s Dallas Cowboy Weekly every time we visited at his house. A team poster of The Boys replaced the Six Flags map, and various members of the family were challenged to name each player by jersey number.

Wichita Falls (1978- 1981) (11-14 ) Grades 6-9
26. Margaret Bebb, Bobcats, and Coyotes
These were the days of miracles and wonders when Steve was master of all trades and Jack of none. He played football and basketball and ran track, sang in the choir, rang in the handbell choir, and played in the band. His broken finger from football caused his piano teacher – Miss Bebb – to demand that he make a choice. He did: he continued to do everything. One exemplary image: after playing in a JV football game earlier in the week, freshman Steve is in the press box as a spotter for the radio broadcast of a WFHS varsity game. Just before half time, he changes into his band uniform in the booth while continuing to identify players for the announcer and then runs to the field for the band’s halftime marching performance.
27. Injuries and The Injury
Playing sports means getting injured, despite piano teachers’ wishes. Across the years, Steve broke several fingers and other body parts playing football (Who can forget the red hot paper clip treatment for a fingernail after high school finger injury?) and endured a number of scrapes on the track (The next to the last hurdle at Iowa Park!) but the injury of injuries occurred one afternoon in spring on the practice field at Barwise Middle School when Kevin Scheer was warming up by tossing the shot put short distances and hit Steve in the head!
28. The Birth of a Party Animal
The most memorable of the Wichita Falls parties (at First Christian Church) was the Wizard of Oz party set up by Steve and his friend Glen wearing the green Barwise Band uniforms and green hair. And there was a Dungeons and Dragons party and birthday parties galore. A legendary party moment found Steve playing Sardines and hiding in a dark closet with several companions holding hands with two girlfriends at the same time!
29. The Babys
At church camp and later live on stage at a Wichita Falls Arts Festival, Steve and pals in white beach towel sized diapers and custom-designed baby blue t-shirts performed as The Babys. They covered “59th Street Bridge Song,” “So in Love,” and “Baby Talk,” practiced in church restrooms for their echo chamber acoustics, and made pretty good music.

Odessa (1981 -1983) Grades 9-11
30. Permian Football
Steve’s Odessa years coincided with some of the glory years of Odessa Permian football. We watched him play on the field of the Sun Bowl and Texas Stadium and all over the “Little Southwest Conference” that was West Texas football.
a. It began in part at Nimitz Junior High when three football players cornered Steve in the boys’ bathroom and quizzed him to see if he was their kind of guy – no smoking, no drinking, hard working. He was.
b. In the spring of the ninth grade year, Steve and I spent several sessions alone outside the junior high school trying again and again to get his steps down for competing in the hurdles. I don’t think we ever solved the problem, but I do remember his winning the 300 m. hurdles – among the most grueling track events – and setting a school record.
c. Legend has it that, in preparation for receiving disciplinary licks for leaving something out of his locker, Steve put a knee pad in his shorts. He bent over, received the blow – boiinnggg! – and got off. (Or maybe got more licks with the pad removed.)
d. Steve came up from cornerback in practice against the first team and met running back and future NFL linebacker Britt Hager, stopping him cold. Said Hagar, “Hitting Benton is like running into a stump.”
e. Steve was slated to start at cornerback his senior year, and several families offered him a home for the year when we decided to move in mid-year. Who knows how Steve’s life might have been changed had he stayed around as part of the state championship team of 1984? (Friday Night Lights was written about the 1988 season at Permian.)
31. Dana – songs, gifts, poems
Dana Brown was the picture book beautiful blonde cheerleader, and Steve wooed and won her with a courtship that was something no one outside romantic fiction could have created (except Steve) – a barrage of artful poems, original songs, serenades, stunning wit, and imaginative gifts. In winning Dana, Steve won the whole school as well - as an intellect, an athlete, a comic, a singer, and a genuinely admirable leader.
32. The Duke of Earl
As Steve’s parents, we were invited to a party at Julie Evans’ home where Steve and some pals were planning a performance. And what a performance it was! Four back up singers and Steve, all in their hip dark glasses, performed an a capella “Duke of Earl” accompanied by the wild screams of dozens of admiring girls (Dana included).
33. CYF Conferences
Odessa was not in the same area as Wichita Falls, but church camp was such an essential element of Steve’s life that he arranged to attend CYF Conference for a week in both areas (and to attend a regional leadership camp for another week one summer). My fondest camp memories with Steve are putting together an amazing program brochure with his ideas and art work, attacking the entrenched and destructive traditions of the new area, and the camp awards ceremony he and Jack created. (One more tiny little memory from the high school church camp years – Joni visits Odessa.)
34. Babysitter Madness
On occasion, Steve would baby sit Lisa and Brian during the Odessa years. One memorable evening, he induced them into a purportedly grueling competition at bedtime. He had them stand on matching surfaces, wrapped in matching quilts or blankets while he played soporific music and delivered an irresistible play-by-play. Which one would be able to remain standing? Who would be the first to resist the powerful clutches of collapse and sleep?

Stuttgart (1983 -1985 ) Grades 11-12
35. Ricebirds
Imagine leaving the glory of Odessa Permian for the population 10,000 home of the Stuttgart Ricebirds! Steve did it, running track in the spring and taking some of the Permian intensity to the Ricebirds. As always, even in a short time, he was a leader, he was injured, and he made us proud.
36. The Quackman Duckathlon
Reuniting with high school pals from Odessa and Wichita Falls during their senior year spring break (which was not the same week as Stuttgart’s break) Steve and I created the Quackman Duckathlon for their entertainment. Board games, computer games, insult boxing, athletics, eating, horse racing, and on and on for days, the competition continued. To balance the mixed abilities of the five competitors (and prepare for a trip to the horse races in Little Rock), each contestant predicted the win, place, and show man before each duckathlon event. Actual winners received the same number of points as successful prognosticators.
37. Guitar
Among the ways Steve used his many empty hours in Arkansas was learning to play the guitar. One of the benefits of a cataclysmic change surmounted.
38. We Are the World
A highlight of Stuttgart High School’s year was a senior talent show with lots of mediocre talent and lip synching. Steve conceived a colossal act for this event that is representative of what he was like in those days. Steve recruited a cast of impressionists for the entire “We Are the World” video. Playing Paul Simon himself, he trained each character move by move and brought together a stunning mix of black and white, rich and poor, in crowd and outcast to the stage. It was nothing if not amazing, not just as a performance but as a demonstration of community. Wow!
39. The Legacy
When Steve arrived at SHS, the school was integrated, but black and white students generally sat on opposite side of the classrooms and kept their distance socially. Steve and his siblings shook that tradition to its knees. At a senior party for the football team, black players were invited (!) and black and white players sat together at tables and joked and ate together (!) until some of the older white guys showed up, started their familiar racist banter, and, with their insults and the compliance of the senior white boys, ran the black athletes (and Steve) off. A week or so later, we held a senior party at our house. And only invited the black football players! We grilled burgers on the lawn and shot hoops in the driveway, basking in the stares of the neighborhood.
40. The Leaving
In the fall of 1985, Carolyn and I delivered Steve to Tom Brown Dormitory at TCU. I remember driving home to Arkansas after delivering him to school thinking tearfully that the days of our being the shaping force of his life were over. (See 12.) We both cried a lot on that trip home.

Postlude
All these memories (and dozens of others edited out or waiting to pop up unexpectedly at some other time) cannot even begin to indicate the astonishing diversity of talent and imagination and joy and goodness that this boy has brought to his parents and to the world. Lordy, Lordy, now he’s forty, and we are just as proud of who he is today as we were of who he was at four and fourteen. Parents take too much blame and too much credit for who their children are, and, remembering Steve’s life in my home, I am grateful that he has become the man he is regardless of my own positive and negative contributions.

On the occasion of your fortieth birthday, Son, I am very happy.
Thank you.
Dad